If you call yourself a diet failure, do these 5 things today!

Lost 2 pounds, but gained 3? Expected to see your blood sugar drop, but it didn’t? You may feel like a diet failure, but that’s not right.

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A reader asked for help:

“I’m so sick of being a diet failure. I don’t know what to do with myself.”

Do you hear the pain in those sentences? I do. And maybe I’m projecting from my own past “failures,” but I sense some self-loathing too.

Healthy eating isn’t like a game of chess

Here’s the thing: This reader is not a diet failure. Neither are you. And neither am I.

Even if I ate an entire pint of Baskin-Robbins peanut butter and chocolate ice cream with that pink plastic spoon you get when you buy a single scoop in a cup. I didn’t lose, and I’m not a diet failure.

Diet isn’t a win-lose kind of thing. Healthy eating isn’t like a game of chess or bocce ball or like winning a job promotion.

Games and job promotions do have winners and losers. And they have a beginning and an end. The game starts when someone moves the first chess piece or tosses the pallino. Checkmate ends a chess game, and reaching an agreed-upon score ends a game of bocce ball. (You’ll find my family playing a mini bocce ball tournament around Thanksgiving each year. It’s so much fun!) The “game” of a job promotion also has a beginning and an end. It starts when the promotion opportunity is announced and ends when someone gets the job.

 

Healthy eating has no clear beginning and end

Healthy eating never ends! And no one is a winner or a loser.

How do you win at health? How do you win eating? You can’t win diabetes or prediabetes or heart health. You cannot win or fail at something that goes on forever. Even if you turn your diabetes or prediabetes around and high-five your doc, you’re not done.

Yes, celebrate your successes, but realize you’ll be working to maintain that for all of time.

There’s no clear beginning or end.

The single most important thing you can do

Stop saying you’re a diet failure.

A)  It’s not possible, as I’ve just explained.

B)  If you identify as being a certain way, you will certainly be that way. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think of yourself as that person who can’t stick to a healthy eating plan, your diet mistakes will stick to your mind like glue and your successes will fall off like Teflon – only reinforcing your negative thoughts and unwanted automatic behaviors.

C)  It’s judgey. And diet is not about judgment. If you ate three cookies when you meant to eat just one  – or even none – it’s not a character flaw. It was a mistake or a poor decision.

Here’s one way to set yourself up for success.

5 more things to do when you feel like a diet failure

#1: Write down at least 3 things you did well

Look for what you did right. And hold on to that like glue. What set you up for success? Did you eat a healthy lunch because you packed it last night? Did you squeeze in a few minutes of exercise because you walked to your neighbor’s house instead of driving? Asking “what went well and why” is magical!

#2: Double down on whatever went well

Look at those 3 things you wrote down. Do them again. And again.

And don’t stop.

#3: Ask what’s missing and add it

Instead of looking for what you did wrong, look for what was missing.

Maybe you skipped your morning exercise because you stayed in bed too long. Did you eat those cookies because you weren’t mindful? You’re not a diet failure. A crucial step was missing.

And here’s what to say to yourself right after overeating.

What can you do differently to avoid the same mistake?

To get out of bed on time, put the alarm clock on the far side of the room. Or get to bed a little earlier. Add in whatever you discover is missing.

And about those cookies; if mindfulness was missing, make a commitment to move sweets to the far side of the table or keep them in the pantry instead of on the counter. If you see sweets in the breakroom every time you walk to the restroom, walk a different way or use a different restroom.

#4: Seek help

What difficult and important things do we do entirely on our own?

I can’t think of many! And while I think healthful eating is simple, I don’t think it’s easy to do. So reach out for the help you need. Does that mean help from your friends or family? Maybe finding the right books and blog posts changes the game for you. For nutrition help, work with a registered dietitian nutritionist and for help with your mindset, schedule an appointment with a mental health counselor. Whatever you need (or want), today is the day to go for it.

#5: Embrace good enough

If perfect is the enemy of good, then it’s the kryptonite to playing the long game of healthy living.

So no more talk of being a diet failure. Or a diet winner, for that matter. Focus on the long game of health and wellness, so you can play all the games with gusto.

And also focus on getting that bocce ball right on top of the pallino.

Set yourself up for the long game

Instead of big, giant, audacious goals, simply get started. And stay consistent. Ask yourself: what one thing can I do today in 10 minutes or less?

Here are a few ideas:

• Prep a salad for dinner immediately after lunch
• Put a piece of fruit on the counter to remind yourself to eat it later today
• Squat while your coffee brews
• Open a can of beans, drain and rinse, and toss a spoonful onto your bagged salad
• Pick out two new recipes to try later this month

I can come up with a gazillion ideas like this, but the best ideas are probably yours. So go ahead. Ask yourself: what is one good thing I can do in less than 10 minutes today?

Then do it.